Sadly after a bad accident on the M4 a coach load of 30 Scousers were killed.
At the gates of heaven the 30 were met by St Peter.
He told them that there was not enough space for them all and that they
should go away and decide which three should come into heaven.
A few minutes later St Peter went to God
and said: "they've gone"
God Replied: "what, the Scousers ?"
St Peter Replied: " No, the Gates!"

                 
A new US Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghanistan desert . During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
                               
He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept. The nervous sergeant said:
 'Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women.
And, sir, sometimes the men have 'urges'. That's why we have Molly The Camel.'
                               
The Captain says: 'I can't say that I condone this kind of thing, but I understand about urges,
so the camel can stay .'
                               
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own urges. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his
pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel.
When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, 'Is that how the men do it?'
                               
'No, not really, sir..They usually just ride the camel into town . . . . . where the girls are. . .


                                                                                                                                                           Ian Reeves